Its been a little while between posts

Well it seems like I haven't been on here in ages and truth be told, I haven't! I lost my oomph and I have really struggled to get it back. I don't know whether it was going on holidays and then having to come back to reality or the stress with jobs, but I have been struggling to loose for the last couple of weeks and have snuck back into really bad habits such as only going to WW when I know i have loss! So today I have started again, not literally, because I have consistently lost weight on the weeks that I have gone to WW, but I mean in terms of getting out and about and exercising. Something which I have found very convenient excuses not to of late! I don't think this week is going to be great, but I am still going to go for WI. I need to still recognise that this is my battle and I need to keep focused. Food can be my friend, I just need to be focused! So fingers crossed.....

Another week another Analogue!

Well after dreading tonight, it hasn't actually been so bad. I thought after my indulgent weekend that I wouldn't stand a chance tonight. I had a wedding and a 30th birthday this past weekend, and although I saved points, I didn't quite manage the total that I used. Anyway after arriving at the meeting, closing my eyes, holding my breath and stepping on the scales. I found out that I hadn't lost, but most importantly I didn't gain! I am finally starting to do this for me. I am still not confident, and have moments where I would just love to shrink into the background. But i am getting there. I just need to keep on heading in the direction I'm pointed, because I am starting to get the hang of it. I know it won't be plain sailing, but I know I have weathered far worse storms. Ok....enough with the analogues! I did ok and i am proud of me!!

I have already discovered that I am rubbish at making time for myself, and I guess my absence from here has demonstrated that!! So far so good with Weight watchers. I have managed to loose 6.2kg. Everyone uses pounds and stone over here (UK) and I find it so hard. I want to be motivated and for me kilograms work. I would have liked to have lost more, but I have been consistently loosing so I think that I should be happy with that, it keeps me wanting to loose. I am also desperately trying to build more activity into my life. I have rejoined my belly dancing class and I am trying to go swimming at least 2 -3 times a week. It isn't as easy as I had hoped, but I am getting there. It was the tortoise that won the race in the end after all!

I also have less that a week now until I go to Morocco. It is getting easier to put myself first and this trip demonstrates that. I can't wait as I am going with one of my best friends. Fingers crossed it is everything she and I hope it will be. We are both wondering spirits and love to travel so it should be a lot of fun. I just want to find out my worth in Camels! It is a long running joke with my Mum and I want to find out if I am worth more than her!! I guess my next blog may be from Morocco and may involve camels!

Remembering to put me first!

I have never been very good at putting myself before others. And recently I have struggled even more with this concept, however I have realised that if I don't start doing this I won't be doing myself any favors and my BMI status of 'morbidly obese' will become 'clinically dead'! So I joined WW for the second time last week, having lost 25kg previously and I am learning ever so slowly that I deserve to be put first! It wasn't the fat pictures, or the denial of my clothes sizes creeping up, or even feeling like my size was holding me back that motivated me this time. It is the realisation that I don't like who i am anymore and I don't do anything for myself without guilt. So here goes!! Here is to knowing that I am worth every kg that I loose. Because it is for me and no-one else that I am doing this and there should be no guilt attached to that!!